We are taught from a young age that we should learn to do things for ourselves. And this is a valuable lesson as we learn to become independent; it gives us the ability to help others and contribute to society. However, taken too far, this desire for independence can have an unintended effect.
We may have a sense of shame when we can’t do things on our own, we may not want to look incapable, or we simply don’t want to be a burden to others.
Not asking for help for fear of looking incapable or fear of rejection can be self-handicapping. It provides short term-comfort, at the expense of long-term development.
Instead, ASKING FOR HELP can reap many benefits! Here are some great reasons to reach out for help:
- We develop new relationships by asking for help. In fact, when we ask for help, the other person also feels appreciated and this in turn creates a positive impression of us. WIN-WIN!
- High performers tend to ask for help, always looking to improve and always seeking out advice. We can use this tactic to become who we seek out.
- Our helpers create optimism in us for the ability to deal with challenging situations, which improves our resilience. Feedback helps us overcome setbacks and grow – these are simple ways to build self-esteem and develop resilience.
- Having a team supporting us tends enhance our own effort levels. We tend to want to be like those we’ve asked for help.
- We develop a growth mindset. When we are encouraged to push ourselves toward a goal and are praised for our efforts, we are more likely to believe that we can continue to do the same on our own.
- It improves our mental health. By connecting with others in asking for help we prevent self-isolation which could otherwise lead to stress, loneliness and self-doubt.
- Asking for help is a positive character trait. As Brené Brown said, “Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me.” Most of us really do think it takes bravery to ask for help.
The belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness is an outdated misconception; rather it is the hallmark of a mature and resilient learner.
Remember: as the saying goes, it takes a village… so reach out to a friend and ask for help!
Until next time… ~ Breathe ~ Move ~ Unwind ~
